This week we got the news that I may only be pregnant for a few more weeks. My heart has grown significantly – it is dilated (as my condition ‘dilated cardiomyopathy’ suggests) beyond what the doctors would deem safe. So I’ve entered into a balancing act between my heart getting so big that they have to act to protect me, and my bambino being big enough to come out.
The ideal scenario is my heart holds out for another 4 weeks and I can get to 36 weeks and have a cesarean. It is however possible that my heart could continually deteriorate or change at any time and they’d have to act immediately, despite poor little bambinos size.
Luckily, and most importantly, bambino is growing very well – as you’d imagine with big parents like me and Ben. He’s already 5lb (at 31 weeks) and lovely and long. So we just need him to gain a bit more chub as quickly as he can and all should be well.
It’s an unsettling and unknown time for us but positivity is the only medicine. I’m confident that things will work out no matter which way it goes. I’ve come to realise that my body is amazing and, despite my heart, it is very strong and has been an excellent baby making machine so far. I have confidence in it to get through this part and then the recovery, however that looks for both me and bambino.
I’ve now got the lovely job of relaxing – doctors orders! And not something I’m good at. With my heart struggling and my heart symptoms loud and clear, all I can do is take it easy and cut any stresses and strains from my life. I said an impromptu goodbye to my lovely colleagues today after being signed off work sick. You’ll mostly find me chilling at home with Winnie. Visitors welcome!
Anyone out there with a heart problem that may be reading this pre or during pregnancy – know that I wouldn’t change my decision to go ahead with pregnancy for anything. I have loved my pregnancy and although this is a little scary, I have confidence in my body and my incredible doctors at The Brompton and Chelsea and Westminster to get us through as safely as possible. The risks were high and explained to us at the start but it’s going to be worth it!